Start With the Hardest Person on Your Holiday Shopping List

Every holiday list has one name you keep skipping. You know the person: she “doesn’t need anything,” has particular taste, or is so good at choosing her own things that you’re never quite sure what to give her.

I know the temptation to leave that name for later. You can knock off a few easy gifts first and feel wonderfully productive. But then December arrives, the easy people are taken care of, and the hardest person is still waiting on the list.

This year, I’m trying a different order. Start with the person you keep putting off, not the product you hope will solve the problem.

The easy gifts can wait

There’s a certain comfort in buying for someone who has already told you what they want. You can check it off and move on. But when you leave the uncertain gift until last, you have less time to notice the small details that could point you in the right direction.

Instead of asking, “What should I buy?” try asking a few questions about her:

• What does she love doing?

• What does she wear almost every day?

• What has she mentioned wanting lately?

• What would she enjoy doing with you?

• What might she never buy for herself?

You don’t need a brilliant answer right away. You’re just paying attention to the person, rather than searching for a perfect item in the abstract.

Think of one person, not “a bracelet”

Last Sunday, I brought the Charm Bar to a conference for association executives. As people stopped to design bracelets, I watched them think about the person who would receive each one. Most were men making something for their wives or daughters, while women were creating for themselves.

They weren’t shopping for “a bracelet.” They had a person in mind. That changed the choices they made: what might suit her, what might make her smile, what could feel like it was meant just for her.

That’s the part of gift-giving I love. The object matters, but so does the thought behind it. A charm can nod to an inside joke. A color can remind you of what she always reaches for. The gift doesn’t have to explain the whole relationship. It just has to show that you know her.

Let her choose some of the details

Personalized doesn’t have to mean you make every decision yourself. Sometimes the thoughtful part is giving her room to choose what feels like her.

At the Charm Bar, she can create a piece around the charms and details she likes. With permanent jewelry, she can choose a chain and make it her own. A custom scent or an ear-piercing appointment can also be a personal experience, with choices made along the way.

That can be a good fit for someone whose taste you respect but don’t want to guess at. You can choose the kind of experience, then let her guide the details. If you’d like to explore an in-studio visit, you can see ATG’s booking options.

Make time together part of the gift

Sometimes the person on your list doesn’t need another thing. What she might enjoy is a plan with you. Something to look forward to and share.

You could consider:

• Tickets to a show, concert or game

• A cooking, pottery or painting class for two

• A spa afternoon or a standing brunch date

• A day trip you’ve both been talking about

• Permanent jewelry side by side

• A Charm Bar visit with her best friend

• The piercing she’s been mentioning

The best choice is the one that fits her, not the one that sounds most impressive. If she loves making things, a class or Charm Bar visit could be a natural fit. If she’d rather have something simple to look forward to, make a date and put it on the calendar.

A gift card can come with a plan

Gift cards aren’t automatically impersonal. They can be a thoughtful way to let someone choose, especially when you pair the card with a real invitation.

Write, “We’re using this for a January friend date,” or “Let’s pick a day and go together.” Now the gift isn’t just a card. It’s a plan to spend time together, with room for her to choose what she’d enjoy.

All That Glitters gift cards are another option when you’d like her to choose her own ATG experience.

Meaningful doesn’t have to mean expensive

A thoughtful gift isn’t measured by its price. A small charm that refers to an inside joke, a color she reaches for all the time, or a plan to spend an afternoon together can feel meaningful because it reflects the way you know her.

If you’re still unsure, go back to the questions at the start. Notice what she wears, what she talks about, and what she enjoys doing. You don’t have to find a gift that says everything. You just have to start with her.

So pick your hardest person and start paying attention now. A little thought before December can make the decision feel less rushed, and help you choose something that fits the person you had in mind.

One quick Pink Friday note: Pink Friday, the small-business shopping day before Black Friday, is November 20. I’ll be in more than one place around the Twin Cities (the studio, markets and events) that weekend, and it won’t be a one-day sale. I’ll share more with the All That Glitters email list first. And if someone you know is already wondering what to give her hardest-to-shop-for person, feel free to send this her way.